- Survivor Stories
- Dynamics of Intimate Partner Violence
- •For Victims and Survivors
- Red Flags to Consider When Beginning a New Relationship
- Am I Being Abused?
- Lethality Indicators
- How Are My Children Affected?
- • Getting and Staying Safe
- My Partner or Family Member has been Arrested for committing a Domestic Violence Crime Against Me
- Survey for Women Arrested for DV Crimes in York County
- For Family and Friends
- For Students and Educators
- For Service Providers
- For Attorneys
- Domestic Violence in the Workplace
- Request a Presentation/Training
Personalized Safety Planning
- If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
- Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows or stairwells would be the best.
- Have an extra set of keys and a packed bag ready. Keep them in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
- Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
- Devise a code word to use with your children, family or neighbors if you need the police.
- Plan where you will immediately go if you have to leave home again (even if you don’t think you will ever need to). Keep Caring Unlimited’s information in a safe place.
- Use your instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have every right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
When preparing to leave:
- Open a checking/savings account in your name to establish your own independent identity. Rent your own post office box.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust, in case you have to leave quickly.
- Determine who would let you stay with them or lend you some money.
- Keep Caring Unlimited hotline numbers close at hand. You can reach us 24 hours a day by calling 1-800-239-7298.
- Review your safety plan often. Do not leave your notes where your abuser can find them. Remember—leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship.
In your own home:
- Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible once he leaves. Install additional locks and safety devices to secure windows.
- Discuss a safety plan with your children for times when you are not with them.
- Inform your children’s school, daycare, etc. about who has permission to pick them up.
- Inform neighbors and your landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.
- Make local authorities aware, let them know if you have a Protection from Abuse Order.
Personal safety and emotional health: Get support!
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss this plan with someone you trust. Don’t make rash decisions.
- Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger. Keep a journal.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
- Seek out people you can talk with freely and openly and who will give you emotional support.
- Plan to attend Caring Unlimited confidential support groups for support and to learn more about yourself.
- If you have to communicate with your partner, plan in advance the safest way to do so.