WE ALL WANT THE BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN...
Unfortunately many things may interfere with the way children grow, learn and behave. Some are obvious, such as the death of a loved one. Others are less clear, such as growing up with violence at home.

Although we think that children are not aware of violence, they almost always see and hear more than we believe they do. It is important to listen carefully to children’s worries and let them know that adults are doing everything possible to keep them safe.

Children often communicate difficult feelings with their actions rather than words.

WHAT YOU MAY SEE IF A CHILD IS HAVING TROUBLE
Below are some of the problems that might show up at home, school or another familiar setting when a child sees or hears violence. These same problems can also come up because of other things. If a child you know has several of these problems, witnessing violence may be one of the causes.
Sleep troubles, nightmares, fear of falling asleep
Headaches, stomach aches, aches and pains
Increased aggressive behavior and angry feelings
A very high activity level (hyperactivity)
Constant worry about possible danger;
Loss of skills learned earlier (toilet training, naming colors, math facts, etc.)
Withdrawing from friends and activities
Not showing feelings about anything (emotional numbing
Worrying a lot about the safety of loves ones
Having trouble concentrating;
Repetitive play about violence
Harming pets or other animals

HELPING CHILDREN HEAL
Healing begins with supportive relationships. A helpful, supportive adult is the most powerful tool that we have to help children feel safe. Give children permission to tell their stories. It helps children to be able to talk about the violence in their lives with trusted adults. Give clear, simple explanations about scary events. Young children think differently than adults. They do not really understand the true causes of violence and will often blame themselves.

Help children to know what to expect. Have rules and routines so that children can predict what will come next. Build self-esteem in children. Children need daily reminders that they are lovable, competent and important.
Teach alternatives to violence. Help children learn to solve problems and play in non-violent ways. Model nurturing in your interactions with children. Be a role model for children by resolving issues in respectful and non-violent ways.

Finally, it is critically important for you to take care of your own physical and emotional needs. Find someone to talk to in a safe, confidential setting about your worries.

WHEN TO LOOK FOR HELP
A child needs help If he/she is physically hurting him/herself or other people or animals; if the child’s parent has been the victim of domestic violence or another form of violence; if a child’s problems have gone on for three to four months with no change; if a child shows a number of the behaviors listed above. If you are worried about a child you know well, remember that you play a very important role. CALL FOR HELP.

WHO TO GO TO FOR HELP
Trust your instincts. You may try someone at the child’s school, a health care provider, a counselor or a clergy person, among others. If the first person you talk to does not know how to help, try someone else or call one of the programs listed below.

WHERE TO FIND HELP IN YORK COUNTY

Caring Unlimited / 24 Hour Hotline / 324-1802 or 1-800-239-7298
York County Child Abuse and Neglect Council / 284-1337
Parent Resource Center / 324-1371
Child Protective Services / 1-800-452-1999

Adapted with permission from the Child Witness to Violence Project, Boston Medical Center, Boston, Massachusetts (617) 414-4244