Millions of American women are physically and emotionally abused by their partners each year. Chances are, someone you know—your mother, sister, friend, coworker or neighbor—is a victim of domestic violence. Perhaps you feel your friend’s problem will “work itself out.” The truth is that generally the violence will not end until someone takes action to stop it.

What You Can Do:

Become Informed
Gather all the information you can about domestic violence. Contact Caring Unlimited to receive an information packet or to talk with an advocate about how you can me most helpful.

Lend A Sympathetic Ear
Letting your friend know you care and are willing to listen may be the best help you can offer. Don’t force it, allow her to confide at her own pace. Keep an open mind; never blame or minimize the situation. Focus on supporting her right to make her own choices in her own time. Be very careful not to increase her danger by sharing anything she tells you with an unsafe person—and never, under any circumstances, with the abuser.

Guide Her To Services
When she asks for advice, share the information you’ve learned. Encourage her to call the local domestic violence hotline. Many people who are abused first seek help from marriage counselors, members of the clergy or their doctor. Not all helping professionals are fully aware of the special circumstances of abused women. If the first person she contacts is not helpful, encourage her to find assistance elsewhere.

Focus On Her Strengths
Abuse systematically strips the victim of her sense of self-worth. Giver her the emotional support she needs to believe that she is a good and worthy person. Help her examine her strengths and skills. Emphasize that she and her children deserve a life free from abuse in any form—emotional or physical.

Help Her Develop A Safety Plan
Help her think through the steps she should take if her partner becomes abusive again and/or if she needs to leave suddenly. See the Safety Planning page of this website for more information.

If She Decides To Leave
It is important to remember that battered women are in the greatest danger when they attempt to leave their abuser. (More information about lethality indicators.) Leaving should happen with a well thought out safety plan. Encourage your friend to call the local domestic violence hotline. Advocates can help her examine her options for maintaining safety and support her through the difficult and often dangerous process of leaving.